Thursday, March 21, 2013

Split Custody

Last night at Girl Scouts, my daughter's stepmom and I made a few moms feel weird.We had a mom say to us, "this is not normal". Do you want to know what we were doing and why people thought we were 'not normal'? When she walked in we greeted each other with a smile. We were talking, smiling and getting along.

Why is it so out of the normal that parents learning how to co-parent? I will be honest. It did take some time to get to this point. This point is the best place for my daughter, so we all work hard on being there!

Now I do not always get along with her dad, but we have over 10 years of fighting, disagreements and hurt feeling. Therefore working together with her stepmom really helps. We are both mothers and love our children.

What I have learn though God? That no matter what Cass is my daughter! She is my life and I love her. I know she knows this because I tell her all the time. I have also come to learn that my daughter's stepmom and dad both love her and want the best for her. Just like my hubby and I want for her. My husband came from a split family and had a horrible childhood of being in the middle. He told me that’s not what he want for Cass and to put things aside and work toward what is best for her.

We don't always agree. Why would we there are reasons why my ex and I decide not to raise our daughter together and there are 4 of us raising her. There are bound to be disagreements. We have all learn to agree to disagree. To know that we all love Cass and want what is best for her.

What is better for her than 2 sets of parents working together and getting along?

How do we do it? Understand and manners, honestly they are the ways we do it. We understand we aren't going to always agree and that each person loves Cass and wants what is best for her. Please and thank you, they go a very long way. We also get to together weekly and talk about what is going on in each other homes that week, how school went and trade stuff off. My daughter is not in charge of bring her stuff back in forth. We as parents are and the people in charge of this situation my daughter is in. She did not choose this, we did as the parents.

This works for my family, and has made this easier on everyone. My daughter has learning by seeing in every bad situation you have to learn to do the best!

Plus last night, us talking and getting along made my daughter at be able to play with her friends without being stressed out. That is honestly the best thing for her. Even though we freaked out other parents.  

(This works for my family, we believe that God has helped is through it. I know it won't work with everyone, and I am not judging you and your family situation)

Sorry for the long post had to get this out! Have a wonderful day!

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